What Really Happened Between Episodes 12 and 13
by Jennilah
Summary: Shizuo and his feline sidesicks must save the city from an unknown evil... T for language. This will be the stupidest thing you will ever read. It's based off a strange dream I had once. Dont bother critiquing, I didnt take this seriously when writing.
1. Chapter 1

I wake up. I get dressed. I eat something. I go into town. I beat up some random dudes who need their asses handed to them. I have a cigarette. Same old shit. Every day. What the hell.

I haven't seen Izaya Orihara since the huge Dollars meeting a few weeks ago. People are still buzzing about it. I'm not completely sure what the hell it was all about, but I didn't have to kill people so it's all good. I feel suspicious... whatever, just as long as he isn't here bothering me or those close to me, I am relieved by his absence. I swear to god I am going to kill that guy one day.

Celty feels more comfortable in her skin now; people don't seem to be afraid of her as much as they used to be. Shinra is still a creepy wacko, but I can't hate him, he is one of the few people who aren't afraid of me (who aren't trying to kill me). Kasuka is doing his business, being a movie star and all. As for everyone else, shit is normal. Everything is normal.

But that won't last very long.

I wake up the next day. I get dressed. I eat something. I go into town. I am pretty sure things will go as they normally do, but things take a twist the moment it starts snowing.

Ok, snow, no big deal. Right? Ok, I know, it's almost summer... but it can't be that big of a deal. A little snow isn't going to ruin my normal-ass day.

I wander the streets like I usually do when Tom doesn't need me. I am about to "break up" a fight between two pedestrians when I am distracted by a stubby, black-and-white figure in the distance. If you weren't paying attention, it might have passed as a drunken midget in a strange outfit by its movement and appearance...

A penguin? In Ikebukuro? I stared at it for a moment and take a look around... there are a bunch of penguins! Why isn't anyone fazed by it? And the snow?

I shrug it off and light up a cigarette. If no one else thinks this is strange, I shouldn't either. This could be the beginning of the apocalypse but I don't care because apparently nobody else does.

"Psst..."

I look around. Is someone trying to catch my attention?

"Shizuo..."

I look around again. I don't see anybody.

"Shizuo!"

I look down. A cat?

"You're Shizuo Heiwajima, right?"

Yup. A cat is speaking to me. By this point I am seriously questioning my sanity.

"Uh... yeah... that's me..."

Should I be responding? This is a cat. A cat, for fuck's sake. I glance left, right, and behind me to make sure I am not getting weird stares. Nobody is paying attention. I swear to god, the citizens today-

"Great! I'm Oscar, and this is Guy." Oscar said. Just for the record, Oscar is your typical cat. He is a long haired, brown cat who seemed to weigh a bit. Guy on the other hand, is a skinny short haired, white cat... with rainbow blotches... honestly...

"Did you hear about the man who was killed?" Guy asked.

"Yeah I guess. What about him?"

"Actually, he doesn't matter so much. It's his killer. We have a suspicion about who it is-"

"Hold up! First of all, it's snowing. Second, there are penguins roaming around. Third, there are two talking cats trying to make conversation with me. I don't need this, I'm going home-"

"No wait! We have explanations!" Oscar interrupted.

"...I'm listening..."

"Ok... everyone is being brainwashed, the snow and penguins are just a test to see if the brainwashing is working." Guy started explaining.

"They don't look brainwashed..."

"That's the point. They are brainwashed to be oblivious to their surroundings so she can get away with her evil deeds..."

"Who is 'she'?" I can't believe I am actually talking to some cats about conspiracies.

"We don't _actually_ know who 'she' is; we just know she is behind this all..."

"Riiight... now how come you can talk? How do you know my name... and what the fuck do I have to do with this?"

"We're talking cats, duh" Oscar meowed.

_Oh, of course... that makes _so _much sense... whatever._

"And you seem to be immune to the brainwashing. How do we know you? Everyone knows you... and you have such awesome strength... you can help us!"

"What if I don't wanna help?"

"Please! We have to save the citizens from _her!_ Save the _world _from her! Don't you wanna be a hero?" Oscar pleaded.

I had to think about that for a second. A hero? That's pretty cool... and who can say no to those cute faces? Cute kitties... Wait, what am I talking about? This is ridiculous! Everything is fine; everybody is acting normal, so what if there are a couple of penguins?

"We think she's planning on building an empire revolving around her... everyone in the world will be her minion- no, _slave_. We think she plans for complete world domination..." Guy mumbled.

"Well _that _would suck. I'm in, I guess."

What have I gotten myself into...?


	2. Chapter 2

Oscar and Guy came with me back to my place so the undercover spies wouldn't catch us being all suspicious and stuff. I learned from our discussion of what-to-do that Guy is the totally serious, all-business-and-no-fun cat who seems to be the brains of the mission while Oscar is the more laid-back type and throws his weight around for fighting. They almost remind me of myself and Izaya. Oscar and I fight with pure strength, Guy and the jerkbag fight using brains. ...No, I did not just call myself dumb. D:

The cats told me that they are part of some crazy organization that seemed like it came straight out of a comic series. Their job was to protect the world from insane dictators, to put it simply. Oscar and Guy were personally investigating the "Almighty Evil Lady" on their own when someone from their organization was killed. They told their leader who they thought was behind the murder and her intentions, but he didn't listen. And now everyone in the world is under her trance (except for Oscar, Guy, and I) so now we have to do something about it.

We waste no time getting into action. We go outside, Oscar leading the way so he can warn us if he senses trouble. The first thing I notice is how most buildings seemed to have disappeared, replaced by snow-covered grass. Actually, if you looked into the distance, you would notice that the city just _stops_ at some point and for miles you just see fields... most people have disappeared, too. I don't know how it all happened... but like before, I won't question things.

The fact that I can count the number of people I see with one hand makes me feel slightly paranoid. It's hard to fit in to a crowd that doesn't exist. Just act natural... nothing suspicious here... just a man and some cats... pay no attention to us... OH SWEET- oh, it's just Celty.

She tapped me on the shoulder and nearly made me wet myself. Stay cool, dude! Just talk to her like nothing strange is happening, like there are no penguins, snow, and the buildings are all still here...

"Hi Celty... what's up?"

"The usual... you looked a little jumpy. Something wrong?" her phone read.

"No... Hey, do you know when the penguins started showing up in Ikebukuro?"

"They have been here for a long time... maybe a few hundred years... I don't know, why do you ask?"

"Just brushing up on my natural history of the city..." _well that's a dumb excuse...subject change!_ "How is Shinra?"

"Shinra?"

"Yeah, Shinra."

"Sorry, I don't know anyone by that name..."

_Are you serious? You have been living with him for like 20 years or whatever, you don't know _Shinra_? _I checked my phone... yup, his number is in my contacts...

"Sorry, I gotta go. I got a delivery to take care of." Celty typed.

"Ok, see you 'round" I replied. It was fine that she had to go... I had business of my own to take care of. I called the number. Oscar and Guy kept watch.

Ringing... ringing... so much ringing, not enough answering...

"Hello?" said a familiar voice.

"Shinra, hey! What's up?" I'm relieved. For a second I thought he disappeared like everyone else.

"Not much, hey man- it's been a while since we talked! Why don't we hang out anymore?" Yup, that's Shinra. Nobody has a voice that gay while being straight. Well... who knows his sexuality now; Celty isn't in his life...

"I'm too busy doing stuff... what are you doing now? We should meet up..."

"Yeah, I'm free at the moment... where do you want me?"

"How about at the Russian Sushi place, we can grab something to eat while we're there..."

"The _where?_" he laughed. My strategy is working; so far I learned that nobody has any knowledge of places or people that have disappeared, as if things were always like that. And it seems that the Almighty Evil Lady is experimenting with people's memories, as seen with Celty and her memories of Shinra. Damn! I feel like Sherlock Holmes! Ha ha! :D

_Almighty Evil Lady_... that's such a stupid nickname... let's call her AEL for short, it has a better ring to it and it leaves you intimidated, wondering what it stands for... pretty badass, if you ask me-

"Are you still there?" Shinra asked.

"Oh yeah, I got distracted. Sorry, something came up and I can't see you. I'll have to talk later. Bye!" I hung up before he responded. I turned to my cat companions and explained what I had just deduced. They agreed whole-heartedly. Unfortunately, the information didn't get me any closer to AEL...


	3. Chapter 3

After finding out all that we could about our current surroundings (so we know what we are dealing with when we face AEL...), we snuck our way into an underground sewer. Ew... but apparently it leads to AEL's not-so-secret-anymore base, according to the tracking devices the cats made out of scraps. ...Those are some smart-ass cats.

So... this place is disgusting, and rats and bugs and shit like that is everywhere, eeeuuurrgghhh.

Out of nowhere we all suddenly get ninja-spy outfits.

I stare down at myself. What. The. Fu-

"I thought it would be helpful... y'know, for sneaking around... blending into the shadows..." Oscar mewed.

"You did this?"

"Well yeah, I made a device that changes clothing~"

"And you have the time to do that?"

"Yep."

Alright, whatever... I shall stop questioning things now...

Y'know, this outfit kind of reminds me of a weird job I used to have...

That job didn't end well...

Anyway, we sneak our way deeper into the sewer, much farther than where the city appeared to have stopped. Above us there must only be grassland..

A noise! We all freeze and back up to the walls of the sewer, into the shadows.

Silence... Oh wait, hold on... someone's coming...

I think it's one of AEL's henchmen... two of them! Coming this way! Shit. Shit. Shit...

"Hey! Anyone down there?" One of them shouted...

We held our breaths. Well... most of us. Oscar had to gasp for a breath.

An alarm sounds and lights flick on. Thanks, Oscar... you just _have_ to breathe...

I'm not sure what happened, but now I think I am at the center of AEL's base... it definitely looks like a place from a sci-fi movie, with the chrome walls and bright flashy lights and a bunch of buttons and levers... lots of overkill, everywhere...

And I am sitting here with my hands locked up behind my back while being locked in some kind of cage... There are a few people watching me and Oscar and Guy are nowhere to be seen.

I easily break the flimsy handcuffs and bend the cage bars... time to open a can of whoop-ass on these guards...

-not even a minute later-

Well that was easy. Time to go find Oscar and G-

"Halt! Stop right where you are." A distorted voice on the loudspeaker boomed.

I stopped.

"Walk down the main hallway to your left... I have your cat friends..."

"Don't hurt them!" I said to where the sound was coming from.

"I won't hurt them if you cooperate..."

I hesitated, but started walking down the hall. I keep a watch on the walls and regularly glance behind myself so this isn't some kind of trap. I am reassured that I am going the right way when I hear Oscar and Guy's meows for help at the end of the hallway.

I reach a huge door, before I can properly knock it opens and I walk in...

Well here goes nothing.


	4. Chapter 4

I walk in to a huge room, everything is chrome and there are a ton of buttons like the last room I was in, and my mind is totally blown...

There are party lights, disco balls, a dance floor, penguins _everywhere_, balloons, confetti... so many fun things, yet the aura of this place is still creepy and menacing at the same time. How can something so fun be so scary?

I push my way past some dancing henchmen and look back at them. They have blank stares as if they are being controlled, like robots. Robot zombie people, something like that.

There is a door on the other side of the room, and I am assuming it is where AEL and my cat sidekicks are.

I walk in and there is a noticeable change in atmosphere. The room I was just in must have been a party room or something, now this is totally like an evil lair.

"So.. you've figured out my plans for world domination..." said a voice from what looks to be a robotic, floating throne that was facing to the back wall.

That voice... no...

The throne turns around to reveal who is sitting on it.

"Izaya?" _I thought the mastermind behind everything was a woman..._ I turn to the cats, who are locked up in cages suspended in the air. They, as if they read my mind, shrugged in confusion.

Pfff, those cats can create devices that make you wear ninja outfits, but they couldn't figure out that AEL was a dude...

"It turns out my brainwashing didn't affect you... that kind of sucks for me because, well, I hate you, y'know?" Izaya laughed. He was wearing crap that made him look like royalty, and he has some seriously huge bling... that guy has an ego, for sure.

"You and your cat friends thought you could get in the way, but you seriously miscalculated." He continued.

"Izaya! You twisted little fucker, with your brainwashing, penguins, and dance parties...! I'm gonna _kill_ you!"

"Actions speak louder than words, Shizuo. You always say that, but I'm not dead yet~"

With the snap of his fingers, the walls disappeared, as if there was no room at all. We are now in the middle of a field with a lake at the side... ew, it's green. D:

Beside the green lake there are rows of people... an army? Hey! I know some of these people... and Oscar and Guy are still in a cage, hanging from a tree.

"Have you met my little buddy?" said Izaya, with someone by his side. He looked familiar, I must have seen him in town a few times... he seems young...

"What about him?" I asked.

"He's gonna be my bitch, ha~"

"_What_? He's just a kid!"

"An important kid... do you realize this boy is the Dollars leader?"

I stood there, amazed for a moment. Izaya continued...

"We are going to get married, and we will join forces and take over the world! With my brains and power, and his thousands of followers," he points to the army, "we can do this! But there is one problem... _you_ must either join us, or face the wrath of the acid lake."

That pervert! He will marry him? He looks 10 years younger than him...

"So? What's your choice? Side with me, or die."

"I'm afraid I can't answer you." And with that, I turn on my rocket boots that I just happened to be wearing and grab hold of a sword that was at the side of Izaya's floating throne.

I heroically cut down my cat friends from their hanging cages and fly down to where there was a strange machine and I destroy it. Pfff, I dunno what it was, but it looked like it needed to be broken.

Everyone in the army looked around, confused.

"What's going on?" Izaya's 'bitch' asked.

"_What_? Oh no! The mind controlling mechanism! You broke it!" Izaya yelled in agony.

Ha ha! I saved everyone from being under his control!

"Killer penguins, _attack Shizuo! Throw him in the acid lake!_" Izaya ordered, furious.

But my rocket boots are too quick for the clumsy penguins. I shoot up into the air before they can catch me, but suddenly I feel myself falling. One of my boots! Damn penguins have lasers!

I hit the ground, and Izaya jumps down from his throne with a sword of his own.

It's duel time.

I charge at him, he charges at me. Time to end this shit.

My sword shatters a diamond medallion that he was wearing.

Everything stops, the sky turns strange colors and suddenly the entire scenery twirls around like the most insane drug trip you could imagine. Everything is heading to a central point, like a black hole...

Izaya is screaming "Damn you!" except it's really stretched out like "Daaaaaaaammmmn yooooooo..." slowly getting quieter as he is getting sucked into the black hole, like the ending of a really bad movie.

Before I know it, I am also in the hole, along with Oscar and Guy.

And as if nothing ever happened, I am back in Ikebukuro. Everyone is there, the buildings are there, we are in our normal outfits, there are no penguins... everything is normal.

Oscar and Guy run up to me and Oscar exclaims, "You did it! You stopped the Almighty Evil... Man! Ha ha! His power must have come from that necklace he was wearing..."

"Yeah, sure, whatever. C'mon, let's go celebrate with some ice cream." I decided.

We watch the sun set with our ice cream, and watch as everyone goes about their normal business. Nobody seems to remember anything about the strange incident. Not even Izaya, who I see chatting with Simon. I won't bother him, though. This was a big day, and I am tired. Maybe I'll go kill him tomorrow~


End file.
